This site is sponsored by Elan School, and is dedicated to educating parents on how to deal with troubled and behaviorally challenged teens.
Elan School Background
Elan School is a coeducational boarding school, located in Poland, ME. On staff psychologist, Jerry Sapan PhD, has been helping teenagers at Elan School since 1989. Each member of the faculty and staff are trained and certified in their field of expertise.
Elan School began in 1970 by Joseph Ricci and Dr. Gerald Davidson, as both men realized the inadequacies of other similar programs. Since the 1970s, Elan School has helped change the lives of many children. Sharon Terry, Elan School's Executive Director, has helped postion Elan School as one of the top boarding schools in the world.
Elan School's purpose is not to change an ill-behaved child into a well-behaved child, but rather to return home a responsible young adult. Elan offers hope to many parents who find themselves running out of options.
We encourage you to visit the Elan School website and learn more about how Elan School can help you and your child. You may also request materials or speak with someone at Elan by visiting the Elan School Contact page.
Advice from the Professionals
Lead by Example
Most behavior is learned by example. If you would like your child to remain calm in a tense situation, foster this attitude through your own actions. Behavior is learned through other interactions as well, including your interactions with others, or through their friends' interactions. Enabling behavior problems in a child, could lead to serious consequences as the child develops into an adult. Don't be afraid to tell your child 'No.'
Teach Through Discipline
Establishing rules and routines and consistently following these rules and routines can work. Using discipline as a teaching method, versus as punishment, allows your child to learn acceptable behavior. When disciplining a child, it is important to also show the child what is acceptable, and acknowledge them for making the right choice.
Reward Your Child
Tell your children you are proud of them, when they make good decisions. Hug your children and tell them that they are special and you love them. Sometimes, we all get busy, and it seems like the only interaction we have with our family is when something negative has happened. Children enjoy acknowledgment, and if the only acknowledgment they receive is from negative actions -- they will continue the negative actions. Make this a positive experience for you and your child.
Communicate
Begin communicating with your child at a young age. Keep an open mind and hear your child out, because when a child speaks to you about something difficult, they are usually reaching out and looking for advice. They are looking for your help, understanding and support. When you foster an environment where open communication is encouraged, you gain the respect of your child, thus lending to their openness to your advice.
Is it Too Late?
If you feel you have no control over your teenage child, it is important that you seek help. Speak to a family counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist and get help before it's too late.
There are many schools and organizations dedicated to helping troubled teens. Check the Internet, ask your friends and family or seek guidance from a professional to find a solution that is right for you.